Being a dad is just like being a kid...

Being a dad is just like being a kid. No, for real! I mean, look. So, for one, as a dad, you get to talk a LOT about poop! (Just like being a kid.) Being a dad, you're allowed to ask lots of questions again and everyone will either answer them, or at least give you patient, patronizing answers. Being a dad, everything looks new again (suddenly a house is no longer a house, it is a maze of sharp corners; fabrics are no longer just fabrics, but they are tools for a) wrapping, b) wiping, or c) padding; the sun is no longer just the sun, but it is a benevolent downpour of nourishing vitamins and warmth; the tiny, old, senile lady across the street is no longer just the tiny, old, senile lady across the street, but a short, smoochy-faced, grandmother sort of figure who pads around the neighbordhood in adorable red slippers; boobs are no longer just boobs...well, alright, they're still boobs, but boy do they get BIG and find themselves hanging out in public a whole lot more). Being a dad, it's like you're everyone's center of the universe again (time to ask for gifts!). Being a dad, it's common to find yourself sneaking clandestine, forbidden snacks or bites from other people's plates. Being a dad, it is encouraged to speak in a combination of gibberish, babble, and silly voices. Being a dad, it is 150% permissible to give ridiculous names to mundane, ordinary, and drab objects and events (like poopy poopsters, sucky, smushy face, etc.). Being a dad, all problems can be answered with one simple word: food. Being a dad, you find yourself sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night and into bed in the middle of the day. Being a dad, sometimes you get poop or pee ALL over you, your clothes, the changing table, other people's clothes, the floor...and a little tiny wet wipe becomes your best friend. Being a dad, nothing else in the whole entire world matters except the immediate sphere of the world around you. Being a dad, you cry a lot AND smile a lot. Being a dad, well...being a dad is pretty cool.