Cravernak Holiday Poem 2013

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the city

Folks stapled lights onto siding to make houses look pretty.

Aeli’s sinuses didn’t like the jarring changes of weather,

So he sniffled and snuggled while his mom tried to get it together.

Balloons were strewn everywhere: wreckage from the weekend’s fete,

Laundry perpetually unfolded; cards not addressed yet.

Carrie paced the house, which was a shotgun,

And took inventory of the things to be done.

Having assessed the mess, and written down the to-dos,

She decided to lay down with A, and have a good snooze.

When she awoke, she decided, she’d feel a lot better,

And finally write the fam’s Christmas letter.

Wait though, should the epistle’s label be one-denominational?

No: Christhanksgivvukah + Solstice + Birthday Celebrational.

Here is the news in this fun month of festivus,

Mostly about Aeli, but a little re: the rest of us.

You might recall a snug little trooper,

Who crawled and then walked and never was a party-pooper,

He’s still all that, but gee-whiz has he grown,

He even goes potty (almost) completely on his own.

He speaks in full sentences, writes and reads most letters,

He’s good at throwing and catching, and always getting better,

He’s got a penchant for puzzles, and baseball, and art,

And a sense of humor that leads to lots of laughs about farts.

Stefin and Carrie are still pretending to be grown-ups,

And bought a house this year, although it feels like they don’t know enough

About plaster and foundation and old plumbing glitches,

Thank goodness for experienced friends, who help with some fixes.

Here’s a fact to nerd out on, in a “This Old House” type of way:

The main water line to our house was made out of clay!

Apparently this is how they did it back in the day,

And our house is quite old. (We replaced the line.) Yay!

The pretend grown-ups are still teaching, still working in schools.

Although they often wonder if they really need so many rules,

They are grateful for their work and for being employed,

And working with kids, even teens- most days- does bring them joy.

Travels this year included Seattle, San Diego, Israel;

Dances were choreographed and performed to Yelle;

Friends moved and moved back, fought fires, told stories,

Designed, skied, and had babies, and were never an ounce boring.

We are so grateful to have all that we do,

Not least of all, the honor of knowing YOU!

We hope you can come visit us in our new home.

(And thank you for reading this very-long poem).

What Thanksgiving Prep Looks Like Chez Nous

Aeli helped me make the cranberry-apple sauce to go with latkes and turkey!

Evidence of his internship with Auntie Nico, expert practitioner of stopping to smell and pick a flower while walking.

What do you call the middle of a grandma sandwich? Spoiled rotten.

New Orleans was COLD on Thanksgiving (read: I saw my breath in our bathroom), so fortunately A had his awesome jacket to keep him warm.

Also, I know you've been wondering: What have those Cravernaks been crafting lately?
Mostly food, but a few other things here and there.

It was so lovely to have folks here for Thanksgiving.

I feel very
very
grateful.

Before, After, Before

We had a lot of good help moving out of our old place.
HQ of multiple Mardi Gras, house of so many big dinners, guests and semi-permanent residents, garden work-parties, backyard film nights, amateur pop-up restaurantiness, and studio for various choreographed dances...
It was really hard to leave.
It made it a bit easier that the majority of the Compound had dispersed in the month preceding the purchase of our new home. Like a, "Well, no one's here anymore anyway, so let's go nest somewhere else" kind of thing. But that wasn't totally true either. Some older neighbors- Compound members by proxy- were hard to leave as well. Not to mention the constant vivacity of that little corner of the Marigny. Aside from some neighbors who like to blast bounce music on weekend nights, our new street is pretty quiet. Our soundtrack here is largely made up of the wind through the oaks and the hum of power tools (from the work being done in our house, and on the house across the street).

AHHHHH can't believe we are here now!

A before picture of the backyard. Aeli pointed out toward the back one day and said, "Is that our garden out there?" I said, "No, it's not a garden yet." He said, "Then what is it?" I love that. What is outside if not a garden? Sweet, spoiled kid.

"Doing concrete" is one of Aeli's new favorite games. "Can we do concrete today?" It's a regular request.

In the fog of having so many huge projects to do and not feeling equipped to make a move on any of them, I bought a cabinet and managed to cut a few stencils (rom-com-y ones of me and Stef) to add some flair. I was especially proud of carrying the heavy thing from the car to the porch by hoisting it up on my knees and scooting forward while remaining in a pretty good chair pose the whole way.

 Before now, I always judged people harshly (who, me?) when, talking about remodeling, they said things like "We redid the bathroom," when they had definitely hired someone to redo the bathroom. I thought that was not giving credit where credit was due, and inaccurately involving yourself in something you were not involved in.
I hereby renounce all those judgments.
It is certainly not the same as doing all the work yourselves, but having people in your house, plaster dust and scaffolding everywhere, is more involved than I initially imagined. Not to mention borrowing more money right after signing your life away on a mortgage. Blyuck.

Plaster walls (on the side of the house that we will be living in- shortly?) and ceiling being repaired

Water + termite damage. Termites like water, I have learned. We got a termite contract as part of the term of our purchase, so we're set with support on that.

 It is so great to have everyone congratulating us and expressing their excitement. But it has been hard to consistently respond with ebullience. An era of living across the street and next door to some of the best people in town has ended. (Hopefully this is only temporary.) There is much I could say on this subject, but I don't want to dwell. (Ha! Dwellings! Get it? I promise that one was an accident.)

We are so glad to be here.
It will start feeling more and more like ours each day, I know.

I'm excited for the day we install a shower.

We'll miss you, Dauphine.

SUPER!

This week I had that part lovely and part panicky realization that it is almost Halloween and I hadn't yet given any good thought into my costume. Fortunately, this provided a fun way to encourage myself out of the funk I have fallen into recently: namely, of thinking way too much about work.

Thus: I didn't exactly think long and hard about the most creative, and punny way to incorporate intellectual pop-culture references, glitter, and LED lights into a costume that could be worn in warm humidity or winter fridgitity alike... instead I thought, "What would Aeli like to wear?"

Got some good ideas from the good ol' internet, and fashioned a mask for each of us and cuffs (from the scraps of an Orcas-Island skirt that I shortened), which I assured Aeli will make him go really fast. (He only wants to wear shirts with "fast letters" on them, and his preference for socks also centers around the colors that provide the most speed.)

This morning, he left wearing his cape (really just the unadorned fabric I bought to make into his cape) to the farmer's market.

My little hero.

Hibiscus and French Kissus

You know you have good friends when not only do they spend all day helping you move, but also go home, get costumed, and partake in a punny dance party for you that same night.

 Note: Cort was holding a glass of wine; Ray a French press and baguette. (See also: Greg, and Michael.)

 The illustrious Tony.

 Also:

 Aeli helped me peel hibiscus pods, so we could make our own tea!

Aeli-en.

 The result was seriously red and delicious.

Also- Aeli has graduated to the table of butterflies (as opposed to bumblebees) at school, which means he is pretty much completely potty-trained. (And heavily invested. When he was sick last weekend, I was trying to put a dipe on him in the middle of the night, and he was fighting me, kicking and yelling, "No! I'm a butterfly now! Butterflies don't wear dipes!") Just a moment ago, he got up from watching Cars, went to the bathroom, and did his thing (standing up!). He's practically a teenager now.

Artichokes, and Melting Hearts

An all-over-the-place post. Beg your pardon.    :

Pretending to be asleep amidst too many patterns.

Blogger won't let me rotate this self-portrait, but oh well: look at those lips!

Aunt Wendy and Uncle Johnny told us about how they boil artichokes only after stuffing whole slices of lemon and garlic cloves just right up in there. Now that I've done it, I am hooked. 

In the new house now, which is good, although also overwhelming. Cockroaches wave hello- from their water-saturated corpses in the dishes in the sink each morning- but also, beautiful wood floors pave my exit to work each day. For a double shot-gun especially, the light is beautiful when we pull back the shades (although, when I pull up the shades- the wide windows + the skill or laziness of whoever installed said blinds = me trying not to yell and curse when they often just plan fall down on the ground in a pile of bending white plastic).

Aeli is transitioning alright, as much as I expect someone of his age to do. (We are starting to encourage him to say "2 and 3/4" instead of the "2 and a half" he's grown accustomed to, and people think it's cute and confusing when he says, "3 and 3/4" when they ask him his age.) He calls this "our pink house" and the old one "our black house" even though our old one is mostly red, but he points out- the Charleston green of our doors looks pretty much like black.

We will miss this.

We've got a huge to-do list here at the new place: central air (or something more environmentally friendly?), repairing some of the foundation piers, chimneys, and adding the possibility of SHOWERS to our present deep-clawfoot-tub-bathing-only situation, insulating the 100-year-old walls... but in the meantime, I am enjoying a relaxing afternoon, with some peach schnapps + champagne, Aeli, fancy cheese, in a place that we can really make ours. Feeling really lucky.

How Can I Explain?

During our months of deliberating whether we should root down in New Orleans or head back West, I worried about what it might be like to raise a white male in The South- in a city where the divide between the haves and have-nots is still so blatantly racial. How well would we be able to instill our values of equality and respect for all beings in an environment that so visibly does not reflect those values? When a young child sees that the "good schools" in the city tend to be filled with light-colored kids, and the "bad schools" look the opposite, how is she not going to start building a worldview in which white people seem smarter than non-whites? When he sees the "arrests" page of the newspaper and notices that nearly all of the criminals on that page are dark, what conclusions is his fresh little brain going to draw? This still scares me, but I know that this truth is just part of it. Experience shapes our perceptions, and as a human, I think it's my responsibility to seek out diverse experiences, in hopes of balancing out some of my bias. As a parent, I recognize it's my responsibility to provide my son with counter examples for all the racist, sexist, everything-ist images, words, and ideas he is sure to be saturated with in the dominant culture.

It's going to be difficult.

The other day, I struggled to figure out how to respond to Aeli's question when we drove past a middle-aged black man with a "Homeless, Anything Helps" sign on the corner. A's "What's he doin?" was followed by so many "Why"s, I eventually said something like, "Because there's a lot that isn't fair about our world," and then pointed out how we could see the moon even though it was a bright sunny day.

Also lately, maybe just because I've been hungrier for new music and therefore listening to more radio hits- I am noticing more of the unfortunate situation of good songs + stupid videos. The misogynistic Blurred Lines would just be boring if it wasn't so insulting. Thank god, lots of clever people (holler @ModCarousel and Ann Powers!) have responded with their 2-cents, and videos that are fun to watch prove a point. (You really should click those last two links if you have not yet seen this stuff.)

Alt-J's Breezeblocks (so great to listen to!) is a horrific, artsy depiction of domestic violence homicide. Outraged and uncomfortable, I googled "breezeblocks controversy video"and found little but this Huffington Post article describing it as "downright enthralling." NME at least called the work "macabre" but also "a triumph," and neither said anything about domestic violence. BLAAAUUGGHHH!!!!

To prevent a for-true rant, let me instead just present some facts.
From the Center for Disease Control:
-Intimate partner violence resulted in 2,340 deaths in one year (2007), accounting for 14% of the nation's homicides (That's more than one in ten. Killed by the person who purports to love them).
-70% of those victims were female.
-24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in the US. That's more than 12 million people each year.
-More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking in their lifetime.

Part of the recommendation for prevention, according to the CDC:

Prevention efforts should start early by promoting healthy, respectful relationships in families by fostering healthy parent-child relation ships and developing positive family dynamics and emotionally supportive environments. These environments provide a strong foundation for children, help them to adopt positive interactions based on respect and trust, and foster effective and non-violent communication and conflict resolution in their peer and dating relationships. It is equally important to continue addressing the beliefs, attitudes and messages that are deeply embedded in our social structures and that create a climate that condones sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence.

Did you notice the part where it says, "it is equally important to continue addressing the beliefs, attitudes and messages that are deeply embedded... [and] create a climate that condones...violence" ?! Yeah! 

The CDC says that! The CDC is filled with SCIENTISTS! Who rely on objective data, and measurements, and peer-reviewed research, and math! Oh and also: IT MAKES COMMON SENSE.

So maybe make a comment on that video. Or write a letter to somebody about the legislation that supports victims of domestic violence (like VAWA) and other legal and judicial stuff that doesn't. Or even just have a conversation about DV with a friend, family member, or colleague. I'm not saying anyone should boycott any of the gross videos I mentioned above (they are art, after all, even though they are also products of commercialism), just for godsakes SAY something about stuff you notice. Especially when it perpetuates mindsets that in turn perpetuate sucky things like racism, sexism, and violence.

Jeez, now I feel like I need a drink. Coffee with ice cream and Bruno Mars' "Treasure," might do the trick.

Aeli's Cooking Show: Green Dip

First of all, I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted ANYTHING on this blog... but boy things have been happening. Even aside from green dip. (You should try some! Another favorite from our friend Dio: put a small container of cream cheese, bunch of radishes, garlic, lemon juice, salt and pepper into the food processor. Bright pink deliciousness will result!)

In brief:
Aeli speaks in amazing sentences. "Mommy, will you play baseball with me? I'll be the pitcher and you be the hitter, and I'll throw the baseball with the glove."
and "I'm just going to have some more crackers and then a little bit of raisins, so I can save some raisins for later."
He also can usually carry on a short, but logical conversation on the phone.

We've been house-hunting. Were ready to make an offer on a double-shotgun in a cute mid-city neighborhood this morning, but someone else beat us to it.

Traveling! Israel for 10 days with Savta, Grampy, and Ariel, and San Diego with the O'Sullivans soon after that. (My usually fish-belly colored skin rejoiced in all the beach time!) Aeli loved each of these adventures, and keeps talking about each.

Playing! (As I type, Aeli is looking for the plastic baseball that he is so good at hitting. He's saying, "Where are you, baseball?")

Remember how when you were a kid "summer" seemed like a whole 'nother world? It seemed to last much longer than 6-8 weeks, and the energy of every day was totally different than the days of the school year? This summer has felt closer to that than it has in years. (Certainly, the fact that I'm no longer a full-time classroom teacher helps in that.) We're just really enjoying ourselves and each other, and really appreciating every day.

Passover & Easter

Dyed eggs from the farmers' market!

 It has been hard to attend to this blog lately. A lot of good stuff going on. It's spring break now and a lot of me wants to jump in the car to go on a camping/beach adventure, and part of me just wants to sleep for daaays.

Here's a blast from the not-distant past. We had a lovely Passover, Good Friday, and Easter. A lot of teaching, learning, and general loving vibes throughout that week. We all enjoyed experiencing bits of the season with the influence of people who grew up with different traditions. Stefin led us in a seder on Wednesday, Ray led a footwashing and reading of the Passion on Friday, and we all cooked and ate together on Sunday.

Aeli was especially excited about the pagan parts of the week.

 The pineapple plant housed not only an orange egg- but also, this guy:

 He especially appreciated the chocolate.

These are from the seeds of the sunflowers we planted for our wedding (this month last year)!

More spring snapshots soon.