I just finally read through the midwives' notes from Owen's birth. What a time we had. Every time I look at him, I think "What a precious thing," and "Ohwow," and "I love you so so much," and I also think, "I am so glad you are out of my body." It was not an easy trip.
In summary, it was long. My stubborn cervix decided this day was a good one to be in the anterior position, so although I was at 5 cm and 90% effaced at 9 in the morning, he didn't make it out to greet us until eleven hours later.
I wrote out some of the details below, should that be of interest to you. (And also because, I might not remember otherwise.)
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Contractions started at dinner on Tuesday night, continued abnormally all night, and through Wednesday. We went on a couple of walks, and tried at least one other trick, but they never picked up steam. Finally, around 10 that night, they started getting stronger and closer together.
Our midwife Emmy and her apprentice Hailey came over just before midnight. Throughout the dark hours, we listened to music and I got through contractions in a variety pack of positions: hands and knees, swaying side to side, doing alternating lunges.... Then the sun was coming up. Oh my god the sun was coming up! We were going to be done by now, I thought. The neighborhood chickens were crowing.
Stefin held my hand as I walked up and down the front steps at five a.m. to continue to coax my cervix to a more posterior position. Through all of this, I kept thinking, "This will end. It will be out by nine, then you can rest" then, "by lunch time," then, it was midday. I managed to take about a 30 minute nap. I sat on the birth stool, took probably 3 baths and 4 showers... laid on my side with one leg stretching over the side of the bed... squatting, kneeling, lots of drinking of coconut water and smoothies... It has to be here before my parents get here; at least it will be here by the time my parents get here. They were scheduled to arrive at MSY at 4:45. Five o'clock came. We asked Josh and Nico to take my parents out to dinner.
I alternated more positions, groaning and moaning and starting to cry about being so tired. At one point they threw a long scarf in the doorway and grabbed on with both arms to let my body hang... Stefin suggested we ask my mom to come. We did, and she arrived just before 6. I think I exhaled, "Hi," but probably barely even smiled. I was keeping my eyes nearly closed most of the time. Stefin says I was focused. I was also just too tired to worry about being rude.
The support team took turns pushing hard on my hips during contractions, which, when done strongly and in the right place, probably took about 60% of the worst pain away.
But they just kept coming- sometimes a minute apart, sometimes one literally right after the other. More lunges, hands and knees... I finally said, "I don't know if I can do anymore!" The team assured me I could, and that we were getting closer indeed. At one point I asked Stefin, "It will end, right?" I honestly wasn't sure anymore.
At 7:50, we got into the shower again, and I had my first urges to push.
At 8:00, they checked me and I was at 7cm and, dun-dun-duh-duuuuhh: My cervix had made it to the right position! Good job, little donut. Baby's head was at the "0" station which means we were well on our way.
At 8:45 they had me sit on Stefin's knees while he sat on a chair, hugging me tightly to help keep me upright. I think they were urging me to slow down or be more gentle with my pushes, but by this point I was of the let's-get-this-thing-the-F-out-of-there state of mind. My mom was holding the flashlight, she told me she could see it. (What they actually saw first was the 'bag of waters'- the amniotic sac- still around the baby's head, which is pretty special and rare.) Then the midwife swiped her finger to break the BOW, and they all gasped. "All that hair!" I think they had me reach down and touch at that point. The pain wasn't that big a deal anymore, I was so, so relieved.
He came out quick. I noted his tiny penis as they handed him up to me, already crying, eyelids swollen and bright red. My dad took pictures with his flip phone. They helped me to the bed and a gentle push expelled the placenta. Then there was some blood, and splattering. Some shots in my leg to slow it and some other painful things. (The apprentice said later it was the messiest birth she'd yet attended.) I was not worried in the slightest. I was done with the hardest part. And I couldn't just decide to stop bleeding. It was out of my control. And I had my baby. I was done.
Bleeding slowed, cuddling got real serious. The midwives poked and prodded my abdomen to make sure my uterus was shrinking as it should, and did a few more uncomfortable things (sutures!). My legs were shaking from exhaustion.
Owen latched really quickly, and Aeli got to come meet his little brother. His eyes were big, round, glowing. His smile spread wide and he tilted his head down slightly like when he's feeling shy.
"Hi Lovebug," I said, "Wanna come meet your little brother?"
"This is Owen," Stefin said, helping Aeli up onto the bed.
A looked down at the new baby, moving delicately, smiling, eyes curious. I waited to hear "He's so small," or "Hello, Baby..." but his first comment was: "He sounds like a donkey! 'Hee-haw, hee-haw!'" A rather astute observation, as Owen was snorting quite rhythmically while nursing.
"I'll wait to hold him until tomorrow, when he's not drinking." Aeli announced, gallantly. Big brotherhood had begun.
The first night of sleep with both my boys was such a funny thing. In the 24 hours leading up to that period of rest, sleeping deeply was the most decadent and desirable thing I could imagine. But then, when finally given the chance, you also have this new little human snuggled up beside you! I woke up many times, just smiling and staring. That face! Those fingers! An indescribable urge to protect him.
So grateful for this new life, and our lives together.
-And now we are four.-
